DEAR ABBY: My husband’s parents divorced 50 years ago when he was a newborn. Both remarried within a few years. My husband was raised by his mom and stepdad.
His mother and father had little contact after their divorce. Because of that, my husband does not have a close relationship with his biological father, who made little effort to be in his life or the life of our children.
Recently, both of my husband’s stepparents passed away. After their passing, his mom and dad decided to get back together. They told us recently that they plan to remarry.
My husband is having a hard time with their reunion. He feels they are rebounding from the death of their spouses. How can he learn to accept a relationship he doesn’t agree with but ultimately has no control over? -- HISTORY REPEATS IN THE SOUTH
DEAR HISTORY REPEATS: Unless his mother and biological father can resolve the issues that drove them apart in the first place, their remarriage isn’t likely to be successful. Suggest to your husband that he withhold judgment until he sees how the reunion works out. If he sees his mother is happy, he must accept that although he and his birth father may never be close, this was her choice.
DEAR ABBY: My niece just had a baby. She’s going to marry a man who has two children. I will be sending money to her child on birthdays and Christmas. Should I do the same for her husband’s children? -- UNCLE J. IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR UNCLE J.: That would be a lovely gesture. If you didn’t, it could cause resentment when the children become old enough to realize they were being treated as “less than.”
Stories by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.